Coming Out for Marriage Equality

Some historic civil rights activities have been taking place recently in the United States Supreme Court. Perhaps you’ve noticed. A lot of notable people have recently come out in support of marriage equality, having, like so many others, evolved on the issue. Yet, there seems to be a last bastion of hangers-on to the idea that there is something equal, yet different, between a marriage and a civil union. Having some thoughts on that, I felt the need to speak up.


It seems self-evident that our friends who held a wedding in a church or a temple or a synagogue or a mosque and our friends who went down to the courthouse both got married, and, when we talk about them, we refer to both of them as being married.

We can play games of semantics, splitting hairs between civil unions and marriage, since this seems to make some people feel better. But no one says, feels, or thinks

“My sister got civil unioned last week.

Let’s have cake!”

I’ve been married twice to the same man, once in front of a judge and once in front of a minister. As far as I can tell, there’s no difference.

On some level, we know that these are merely words. In our hearts we know that there exists no barrier that a deep abiding love cannot bridge and that includes gender.

If this is the last tiny thread that’s holding your top button on on this issue…

Please… Let it go.


Copyright 2013. © Christina Caine. All rights reserved.

Post Script: The author would like to go on the record as coming out as an LGBQT ally. She looks forward to the day when her grandchildren will interview her about her involvement in and what she remembers of the Gay Rights Movement in the early twenty-first century so that they can write a report on an historic event. She hopes she will be as honest then as she is being now and tell them what she has always known in her heart to be true: Our purpose in life is to love and be loved. That’s why we’re here.

Note: The Equal Sign is the logo of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC); normally the logo is composed of a maize equal sign in a field of blue. During the week of Supreme Court testimony in the cases of Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, the HRC encouraged supporters to wear and display the color red in solidarity with their cause – the cause for human equality “…with Liberty and Justice for all.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 28th, 2013 at 12:24 am and is filed under Marriage Equality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


  1. scott caine says:

    Nicely said.

    ... on July March 28th, 2013
  2. Deborah says:

    Wonderful post!

    ... on July March 28th, 2013
  3. Melinda says:

    May I Share? You always have just the right words.

    ... on July March 28th, 2013
  4. Sharon says:

    Thoughtful and truth filled! I give thanks for you and your writing gift.

    ... on July March 28th, 2013

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