I’m two and half years into writing a book. It was supposed to take one. Best laid plans and all that. It’s been difficult because I’m telling the truth. Sometimes the truth is difficult because of how bad it is. Sometimes the truth is difficult because of how good it is. Either way, it’s vulnerable.
I had hoped to finish in time to enter it into a well-respected non-fiction contest with a deadline of November first, but that’s not looking too promising.
“Life,” as John Lennon said, “is what happens on your way to making other plans.”
I’ve been doing my other full time job while trying to make this book thing happen: Mothering. Holy Mothering! It’s time consuming and challenging in ways no one ever tells you. And they want to eat. Every. Single. Day. Self-absorbed food addicts.
And I have to have a few close people read it before I can show it to outside book people because in it I talk about them. Like my best friend – she’s in it. And then she recently said, “You know you shouldn’t put me on a pedestal.” To which I replied, “Too late.” Like I would ever have a best friend whom I didn’t think was awesome in nearly every way (and like I don’t know she’s not perfect. But that’s just between you and me. I would never tell her that). So, now I have to worry not only about all the truthful things I wrote about difficult people whom I don’t want to see it, I have to worry about all the truthful things I wrote about wonderful people whom I do want to see it. I didn’t realize this would be this hard nor this tricky in this way.
Then there’s the life part that keeps getting in the way, that ends up changing the story line or adding to it. People who come, and people who went…who weren’t supposed to, and how that changes everything. Or at least serves as an unwanted distraction. And, yet, that distraction is all there is of them.
Life. Is it really getting in the way? Or is it just part of the deal?
I keep thinking I’m trying to write a book while doing this life thing. But, really, I’m doing this life thing while trying to write a book.
Copyright © 2012. Christina Caine. All rights reserved.